And it is over. And instead of feeling ecstatic, I just feel kind of sad and empty.

The event itself was a real success, I think even more than any of us had hoped! I expected the artwork and performances to be of the caliber they were, but what I didn’t expect was the sheer number of people who crowded the streets – over 5000! – and the general atmosphere of enjoyment and excitement. Everywhere you looked everyone seemed to be having such a good time, and everyone I’ve talked to has said that there was really something for everyone, which is what we strived to do.

I can honestly say that it was one of the best nights of my life, seeing all my hard work pay off in such a big way. It absolutely made up for a year of having to deal with certain people, and I’m even considering doing it again (much to the horror of my logical self), so it was obviously a powerful experience.

Looking back, even though it’s only been 2 days, I felt I handled the day really well. Problems came up of course, but I never really got stressed, it was just about working through them. A resident complained about the toilets being right outside her place – so I moved them down the street 10 metres. Solved. It wasn’t all that hard to keep calm because nothing was insurmountable.

Pretty much everything worked from an audience point of view. In hindsight I would probably lose the video projections, spend less time on them or change where they were projected from – the streets were so crowded and everyone so buzzing that nobody really spent any time looking at them. They have to be above the heads of the crowd, or we just accept the fact that they are nothing more than moving decorations (unless they’re rear projected). I’d also choose a more exciting band for the end of the night – I was trying to slow it down a little and mellow it out, which was good in terms of getting people to leave on time, but would have been better to keep the energy level up. And as I’ve said before, we should have spent much more time talking to the community.

Pretty much all of the feedback from the artists was positive, so that’s a good thing for me. I’m obviously really happy with it all, but can’t help feeling a little empty.

Signing off for now.

The festival is on tomorrow.

I've spent the last two days desperately trying to find some solid time to get some scheduling for deliveries and stage management done in amongst all the phone calls, emails, meetings, sourcing of props and materials etc. But surprisingly, it hasn't actually been all that manic. I've been a little sick in the last couple of days - my glands have been up and I was pretty out of it yesterday - which is the worst possible timing but in some strange way has actually forced me to remain calm because I just don't have the energy to be really worried. I've made sure I've had two good nights' sleep, I'm angling for an early night tonight because I start at 7am tomorrow and will be working through to at least midnight. 

Despite the fact that it's quite clear that my boss is experiencing some kind of mini meltdown (she hasn't been known to handle stress particularly well, and of course she has a lot riding on this) I'm feeling quite good about it all. By the end of today we will be as prepared as we can be. Things will go wrong and problems will arise tomorrow, but we'll just have to handle them as they come up. I think the reason I'm so philosophical is because I acknowledge that there's nothing else we can do, other than what we physically can do. On the whole we have a great team and together I'm sure we'll work out solutions to anything that comes up. 

So my day today is putting the final touches on my installation schedule, creating my stage management plan for which all the data is there it's just about making it cohesive, making some templates to be filled in to keep track of artwork and prop deliveries and pick ups. Then there’s a few things I have to pick up myself, a couple of artists to meet, a final team meeting to have and of course the actual deliveries to take.

So I have to get cracking. 

Only a week and a half to go. It's kind of a bit of a shock after almost a year of feeling like the Festival is ages away, and now it's right around the corner. 

Right now, it feels like everything's going wrong. I've spoken to a few friends who've done this sort of thing before, so I have it on good authority that there is a time like this and it's all ok. Last night I had a band drop out, which was a little disappointing but it's easy enough to slot one of the other bands into their place. Then this morning I called one of the residents who had previously agreed to host an artwork on his balcony just to check in with him, only to be told he'd changed his mind. Thank goodness I called! To top it all off, another resident came through and said that she didn't agree to hosting a theatrical piece, and the only company with access to one of the rooftops that we relied on access to flatly refused to grant access on a weekend, even though I offered sponsorship acknowledgement and distribution of marketing collateral. All in all, not a great morning. 

In a few of those cases I do acknowledge that it is my fault for not getting on to this earlier, but with some of the others it didn't matter about our earlier approaches when residents changed their mind. I guess this really is the time when things will go wrong because it's getting to crunch time, and if people are going to drop out or change their minds, now is the time they'll do it. On the bright side, this does mean that things are getting locked down and we're finding alternatives that will work now – concrete reality is replacing the blue sky dreaming. 

In some cases, the lack of permission is not such a bad thing. We might be ok with the roof access – it was to attach guy lines for a big inflatable, but the window on the next level down has bars that we might be able to attach to and the tenant is on our committee and a contributing artist. And the attachment site across the street also belongs to a committee member, who is actually being extremely generous and giving us her premises as a backstage and delivery area. So we'll be ok there. 

We had a great meeting yesterday about power, which has been one of my main concerns. Basically, our technological wizard is going to make it happen with the aid of a three-phase generator and epic cabling, which will suck up all our budget as well as a lot of fuel, but will at least let us have the festival we want. 

Then we have the WIP meeting today in less than an hour, and I'm hoping I can mainly be there to soothe and keep the Director's stress levels low. I'm fairly tense myself – I'm still working full-time, writing reviews for 2 shows this week and doing uni so I'm starting to struggle to find the time to get things done, but I think if I'm calm then she might be calm, and that will make life a whole lot easier for us all. 

Time to take a deep breath, because it's going to be a ten-day sprint to the finish. 

Two weeks from today, I will hopefully be sitting in the sun with some friends, or with a book, taking a much-needed day off. And three weeks from today I will officially be on holidays, overseas. But before I get to that, there's still a lot of work to be done.

There are a couple of things that are keeping me awake at night. It's not so much the scheduling or running of the day, because even though that's on my mind it's also something I know I can manage. We're at the point now where all the artists are confirmed - any that aren't we have assumed are not participating. There are one or two who haven't come back to me with tech requirements, but for the most part I am able to guess these based on what I know of their works. Even though we're just under two weeks away, managing the artists is the part I feel most relaxed about.

What does worry me are the power needs of the Festival, and the lack of information I have regarding these. Again, I'm fairly savvy about all the needs of the artworks and performances, but the major problem is the lighting. We are working with students who are under the guidance of their lecturer. He's a great guy and they're definitely doing us a huge favour, but the fact that we haven't been supplied with power requirements for what they're planning two weeks out is just unacceptable. How on earth are we supposed to ensure that we can get them what they need when they don't let us know? Given that the Festival's spread out in block-party style over a fairly large area, we're in a bit of trouble power-wise, and we really need to cut back on power requirements wherever possible. As it is, we will almost definitely have to use 2 generators, which will probably take us over budget, not to mention make a bit of noise. I requested this information by COB Friday and have not heard a thing, so that worries me. I couldn't sleep all Friday night.

The other major concern that stems in part from lighting but is also connected to the works, is getting permission from the owners of buildings. We've already managed to approach a few of the residents and a lot have been quite willing (although some are very much opposed and the Festival Director is meeting with one particularly angry resident in the coming week to try to placate her), but there are still a lot of people who need to be approached and when they're businesses in warehouses it can be extremely difficult to find out who we need to talk to, particularly as I'm still working full-time so can't be down there during business hours. Some of the lighting installations will need permission to hang out of windows or affix to buildings etc, but again I don't know which these are or where exactly they need to go. At our WIP on Wednesday our lighting leader was talking about all these plans they had, and I said 'so will your students be approaching those building owners to gain their permission?' He looked at me in some surprise and said 'no, you will.' I told him that in that case I will need that information as soon as possible. As above, he promised it by Friday but it still has not materialised. I'm a little concerned now with the tight deadline, and am trying to decide how to handle this. I'm not happy with allowing them to get the information to me in my own time and not suffering any repercussions - I feel I should give them a date after which we absolutely will not approach buildings on their behalf, but this may also mean that the works won't get up which is obviously a scenario to avoid.

I guess this is a valuable lesson in working with creatives - sometimes, no matter how good your planning and preparation is, there will be someone to throw it out. You just need to decide how you're going to deal with that. As much as I'd like to do everything I can for them, my priority is to the artists and I just have to accept that I don't have the time to handle last-minute requests. I'm going to have to put my foot down this week.

I'm looking forward to the blissful Sunday when all this is over.

It has been a while! Sorry dear readers.

We are less than four weeks out from the Festival, so it really feels like it's just around the corner. It is all stations go, and it's starting to feel like I could easily work on this full-time over the next four weeks. Sadly however, I already have a full-time job, so I currently have no life. 

Surprisingly though I feel that I'm balancing things fairly well, although the doctor last week thought otherwise and ordered me to rest for two days. But after a relaxing rare day off on Saturday, involving snorkeling, massage and a quiet dinner, it was back to the battle stations on Sunday. My brief lapse in health was an important reminder however - that at all times I must prioritise down time if I'm going to get through this in one piece. I make sure I schedule in about an hour everyday away from work, which usually means I end up at the gym or yoga because if I just watch TV I can't stop thinking about work. 

The key tasks over the next four weeks are finishing the map of the Festival, including marking which works need power etc, which will need to be done in the next few days. I also need to lock down performance times and the tech specs of each work, plan bump-in and bump-out, think through the stage management timings of the day and the volunteer duties. 

One thing I'm learning is that in some cases, getting these details out of artists can be like getting blood from a stone. There are a few who are fantastic and consistently meet deadlines for information, but the majority need to be chased up all the time. It's interesting to see it from this perspective – usually I see it from the point of view of the artist and always think 'why won't they get off my back?' but now I understand. When you have over 100 creatives to coordinate there is just no time to muck around with chasing them all up, and you need as much information about their work as you can get. It's all about trying to minimise the amount of surprise requirements you'll have on the day, particularly in an outdoor festival like this where there is limited power and other resources. 

In addition, there's still the job of approaching some of the businesses around Chippendale to secure their permission to attach works to their buildings, use their space etc. The residents are a lot easier – I've approached a few already, and it's easy for me to do so because they're generally only home after hours, when I'm not at work. With the businesses it's the opposite, and it's becoming almost impossible to find time to approach them during the day. I'm going to go down there at lunchtime and see if I can get some of it done, but it may come down to taking photos and handing it over to my assistant curator to do if she can. I'm starting to get a little worried about this because the map needs to be locked down by the end of this week for marketing reasons, so that doesn't leave me with much time. 

So I will cease my slightly panicked rambling and get back to work (where I currently am), while worrying about this Festival. I feel quite confident that it will all be ok, but I am definitely running on adrenalin and starting to find that I'm waking up in the morning already feeling nervous. 

Essential oils and yoga for me. 

In at work on a sunny Saturday morning, minding our exhibitions because one of the volunteers hasn't shown up. I was trying really hard to make this my one day off as well. <sigh> Thanks goodness the awesome technical guys at my work had the foresight to install a computer down here.

I am finding that the sheer workload is getting to me. Working full time, directing this festival, doing my Masters and making a new short piece that I will perform in under a month doesn't leave much room for free time. I'm really learning to make the most of the little things - my partner and I snatched three hours together last night to go to dinner, but even then I couldn't really get away from work as we decided to hang out in the suburb where the Festival is happening. It was nice to sit down and chat - I felt like I hadn't seen him in a week and we live together. WORK IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE.

That aside, I am still having fun... I think. I am eagerly awaiting what I'm sure will be a flood of artist proposal forms into my inbox on Monday, which is when they're due. I'm being optimistic in the hope that if I am, this will actually eventuate. But a very big part of me remains sure that next week will be the start of a lot of chasing, and I think I will have to start rostering phone calls into my tiny lunch breaks, when I don't have a Festival meeting to rush to. But I think if these artist forms do come in, then the really exciting bit can begin for me. I can start to think about the shape of the day, about where and when everything might happen. That's fun.

In other news, our branding strategy is almost complete. We've been lucky enough to have some Master of Design students from a local uni offer to create our branding. We went to an interim presentation last week and were all blown away by what they presented. I feel really happy about it - I was initially wary at first about getting students to design the branding, but given our budget constraints we didn't really have much of an option and it's turned out far better than I would have expected.

There are a few big issues happening right now. One is that the web design company that was sponsoring us and who we have provided an intern to to do the actual work has since come back to us and said that the intern's skills aren't up to scratch, and without further financial resources allocated to them they can't continue. They sent a link to the intern's online portfolio as evidence, and to be completely honest, had we seen that before we agreed to have her on board I would definitely have had reservations. Needless to say, we have no further financial resources, and we have both agreed that we don't want to ditch the intern after all the work she has so far put in, so we have had to find another web sponsor.

And the next piece of news that is potentially devastating is that the building that we are supposed to be doing the 3D projection mapping on, that is the centrepiece of the whole Festival and has been a key component of securing the little sponsorship we have gained thus far, is apparently unsuitable for such an exercise. Apparently the bricks are too dark. Why none of the people responsible for this part of the Festival thought to investigate this months ago I am at a loss to understand, but whatever. There is a crisis meeting at 3pm on Monday, which is not a work-friendly time but it's kind of important that I attend.

I do feel supported by my boss, although it's very evident that she is extremely stressed about the state of things. I can tell by the constant emails asking me what has been done and what hasn't, scheduling meetings and the like. I can definitely appreciate that - I think we're all feeling the strain, and she probably feels that she has more at stake than anybody else, it being her baby. I feel like I spend most of my time reassuring her, which of course is part of my job, but meanwhile I'm panicking on the inside!

Anyhow, off home now to have a Saturday, yay. See you next week.

This Festival is ENORMOUS! We are working with so many other arts organisations in the area, almost twenty of them, who are all contributing an artist or a workshop idea and swelling our program to no end. It's absolutely amazing to see all these people coming out of the woodwork and being so incredibly enthusiastic about what we're trying to do, but it is also getting huge - the more people, the more difficult it is to manage.

At the moment I'm in artist proposal and contract mode. I've been drawing up a form for the artists to fill out that will basically be their proposal for the work so that I can begin to get a more concrete idea of how I will program everything and where everything can be positioned. It's going to be really helpful to have that soon, not only so that I can get on with programming but so that we can give PR and media more information and so that we can begin to apply for council permits. I'm really hoping the artists can get things to me by the due date I've set. Really, really hoping.

In other news, our sponsorship/ funding situation is essentially the same, if not a little more positive. It turns out that the chairman of the company that is currently our major sponsor is also the chairman of a major bank, who is looking to improve their community goodwill. It might be the perfect fit for us. We've been working on the sponsorship proposal and I just have to finalise it over the weekend so that we can get it to them by Monday.

It's a Saturday night and I'm still up to my eyeballs in contracts to finalise, artists and organisations to email and sponsorship documents to fix up. I think it's making me feel a little sick. So I hope you'll understand if I sign off now. It's getting hectic.